Have you ever prayed for something and then thought, “what’s the point of asking if God doesn’t answer it?”
It’s okay, me too.
My Dad is in the hospital for COVID right now. He’s been there the last 7 days on oxygen.
I’ve had an exhausting amount of prayers for my Dad. I want him to be free of this illness. I want him to be off oxygen. I want him to be at home with my mom. I especially want to hug my Dad again.
Between the prayers are unwelcomed worst-case-scenario thoughts. What if I pray for health and he dies?
What’s the point of my prayer if God doesn’t answer it? It feels like anything could happen and my repetitive prayer becomes pointless.
If God doesn’t answer my prayer… Is God just doing whatever he wants and disregarding my request? What does that make God to me? Is He listening to me? Is God’s will for my Dad to die and I just cluelessly am asking for a pointless outcome? Is God going to intervene? If He’s in control, can’t he just control COVID and make only good things happen? If He doesn’t answer my prayer, I could look like a hopeless fool asking for big miracles. Should I even hope for the best? Does God care what I want? Do my prayers even matter?
Thankfully, my Holy Spirit had space to interrupt me and remind me of these truths:
- God always wants to know my request
- Prayer is a variety of conversations with God
- His Will, not mine
- God is always good, no matter what
- I can trust God
My urgent and desperate request to God is similar to Jesus before he went to the cross.
Luke 22:42, “saying, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup [of divine wrath] from Me; yet not My will, but [always] Yours be done.”
Truth #1: God always wants to know my request
Satan says, “if you ask God for something and He doesn’t grant it, God doesn’t care about you and you’re a fool for even trying.” The truth is I can ask God for anything and that doesn’t make me a fool. I’m currently asking that God heal my Dad. That is my raw and vulnerable heart’s desire. Luke recorded that Jesus asked God to change what was happening, Jesus did not want to endure the painful cross. Jesus is not a fool to ask for something, even though it wasn’t “granted”, and God is not evil for allowing it to happen. Instead, since Jesus knows God, it shows us God’s character here; God is a Father I can run to and show him my honest heart and desires. He loves and respects me. I can ask him for anything. Asking God for anything isn’t a pointless request. My desire is always met by a patient, listening, compassionate Father. God does not look down on me, despise me, or shoved off my request. Even though God is all knowing, he wants to know me. That’s a respectful Father to his children.
Truth #2: Prayer is a variety of conversations with God
God wants to know my heart. Where am I at? What do I need? What do I feel? When someone close to me genuinely asks, “how are you?” I know they care about me and I’m connecting with them when I’m vulnerable in that moment. A prayer request to God is a form of conversation and connecting to my loving Father. Sometimes my prayers are thankful. Sometimes my prayers are telling God about my day. Lots of times my prayers are venting and seeking His guidence. The variety of conversation and prayers allows for the connection and relationship with God to grow. In the prayer between Jesus and God, Jesus needed to connect with his Father and tell God his request. Jesus knew God wanted to know and was listening.
Truth #3 His will, not mine
God is not my genie in a bottle. A few years ago I prayed often for God to make my boyfriend propose to me. I wanted to marry him so badly that I lived in so much fear that God would not grant my prayer. We dated for five and a half years, so it was a long time until I finally said “okay God, your will, not mine”. But until then, I felt so anxious God wouldn’t answer my prayer with my outcome. When Jesus prayed, “not My will, but [always] yours be done.” Jesus gave up the requirement of his own outcome and agreed that God’s outcome is who’s he will honor. My Dad’s health has forced me to wonder, what if God does not answer my prayer and my outcome doesn’t happen? It really made me ask myself, will I be mad at God? It’s a healthy question to ask because my answer moved me away from my own will, and into partnership with God. Even if His will includes going through hard times, I do not require God to meet my prayer request inorder for me to believe in Him and His will. Giving up my ultimatum allows my heart to need God instead of fighting God. I’m left with overwhelming support and peace because I’m walking alongside God in agreement with Him. God’s will is not death, and I’m in agreement with him that even if my prayer request is not answered, God is my God and I trust His will.
Truth #4 God is always good, no matter what
I hate everything about COVID, illness, loneliness, death. It makes me so sad. My Dad is alone in the hospital and fighting a virus that is out of his control. I want to believe that God is in control but Satan says, “God is allowing bad things to happen. He’s in control and allows pain.” The truth is that God hates everything about COVID also. God hates death. God hates illness. Satan is who loves those evil things. Child-like thinking helps me a lot; God = good, Satan = bad. I saw a quote that reminded me of this truth, “If it’s not good yet, then God’s not done.” That’s the truth! God is always good. God hates evil so much that He sent his son to accomplish victory and crush Satan himself. God saved us all. That is God’s desire! Which lets me know that God’s outcome of every story is always victorious, no matter what. Even if the “what if” scenario becomes real, God will guarantee blessings, protection, victory, peace, redemption, joy, and justice for those He loves. Jesus’s scary “What if” became reality and he had to go through his suffering, which is terrifying! God did not enjoy Jesus’ suffering. But God blessed Jesus and all of us through that “what if” scenario.
Truth #5 I can trust God
I don’t know the future. I can’t avoid painful things. I’m human and I need a loving God that I can fully trust. Can I trust God? Satan says I can’t trust God because painful things happen. The truth is that I can trust God, no matter the outcome or what my eyes see. Jesus only went through suffering trusting that God was on the other side with a bigger purpose. Jesus trusted, without knowing the outcome, that God’s will promised only good things. I can trust God because He’s a good and loving Father. There’s no ultimatum along with my trust, there’s only vulnerability and open hands asking God to be there for me.
The truth is, I want my prayers to be answered. Even though I’m a Christian, I am not void of hurtful things that happen in life. I don’t know how my Dad’s health will turn out and I don’t know how many more days my prayers will continue to be “God, please heal my Dad”. I don’t know what the outcome will be. The point of my prayer, even if God doesn’t answer it, is because I need God, and God wants me. I am thankful for God.
Thank you God for comforting me always, hearing my prayers, being in my Dad’s hospital room with him, and for guaranteeing victory. You are so good. You are so loving. Thank you.”
My Dad texted me from the hospital saying, “Pray Gods will be done, it’s always the best answer. I love you Meg”
Please join me in prayer for my Dad, and let me know if you have any prayer requests also.
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